Monthly Archives: June 2007
Worst Years In Music: 1996
1996. Ten years ago. Holy crap. That’s all I have to say.
Actually, that’s not all I have to say, because I’ve got a big list of songs I need to be all snarky about. But, damn. It may not have been the worst year in music ever, but it was certainly the oddest. The great unifying theme of the 1990s may very well turn out to be the explosion and subsequent mainstreaming of “alternative” forms of art, commerce, and communication – where the uncommon became common. If that turns out to be the case, then 1996 was probably the flashpoint of that whole… thing.
Anyway, here’s my take on the top 99 or so songs of that crazy, crazy time, when Vittorino was out of town and his two friends… were sooooo fine.
99. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish
1996 was all about the Hootie. Friends was the number one show. Independence Day was the number one movie. And Darius “BK Bacon Cheddar Ranch” Rucker may be wearing a flannel shirt, but it’s okay, ‘cuz it’s buttoned up and tucked in. The video has them goofing around on a basketball court, for heaven’s sakes – how Richard Marx is that? You could almost hear the champagne corks popping at Boring HQ.
this is the best music video ever
I have found the greatest damn video ever made.
|It’s for Sugarcult’s song “Memory”. If you knew me in high school, you’ll watch it and think “hey, that looks like something Andy would have drawn.” If you knew me in college, you’ll watch it and think “hey, that sounds like something Andy would have sang.” If you know me now, you’ll be like “Andy, stop being so emo, you emo-lovin’ emo fag.” And I will sit in my room and cry and draw big black X’s on my face and you will hurt me no more. Jerk.But, anyway, I love this damn video, and you will too.|
1568 XXXXXXXX Ave
Objective: To be hired for a full-time position in the media/entertainment industry. Failing that, to score a cushy office job that allows me to roll in fifteen minutes late, spend the day updating my MySpace site and watching stuff on YouTube. I would also like one of those rolly chairs.
Salary requirements: Enough to pay off my credit card and purchase a Wii.
(originally posted on Myspace.com)
A true story…
©2007, 978Musik Enterprises
written by a.k.a. Andrew
with apologies to Infocom
You are sitting in your bedroom, in your apartment in Brighton. There is a computer here. In front of the computer, there is a mixer and a microphone. There is a guitar here, on a guitar stand. There is also a bed, which you are sitting on, and a black courier bag. The black courier bag seems to be closed. On the nightstand, there is a clock.
What would you like to do?
(originally posted on MySpace.com)
This is what Dave Navarro and Eric Avery did after Jane’s Addiction broke up, before Dave joined the Chili Peppers and Eric dated Alanis Morrissette.
move out flat don’t rise up
kraft cheese and a cup of joe raw fish in a burrito game show
straight to video in the land of the setting sun
Not a very good way of describing Deconstruction, it’s true, but if I told you that they sounded like Lou Reed fronting Bad Brains, you’d just look at me funny. So, never mind then. This is one of those Rage TV songs – it’s very obscure, it’s very good, and I first heard it at 2:30 in the morning on a summer evening when I was 14 at a very, very low volume. (Our house was small and had thin walls.)
this is no place
this takes place
There will, I promise, be an entire entry about Rage TV songs. I may even explain what I mean when I say that something is a “Rage TV song.” But not tonight – for now, just let “L.A. Song” wash over you. At least, until about the 1:30 mark, where it changes gears and kicks you in the head. It’s got a strange beauty all it’s own, and for all its 90s-ness, I love this video.
does your horizon burn?
I have lived here my whole life
I don’t need more stories
about your broken midwest boulevard dreams
stars also lie down that street
stars also lie down that street
you pretty little town you sad flower in the sand
you pretty little town
give me some of you