No spoilers here, I’m afraid. You know why? Because I do not have my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yet. And do you know why I do not have my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yet?
It has nothing to do with Michael DiLoreto of the North End via East Boston turning 25, although he picked a pretty inconvenient day to get born, if you ask me. No, I would have gone to Mikey’s birthday party if it was infested with sharks. I do not blame Mikey.
It also has nothing to do with Theatre@First presents Festival@First:C’est Levine! (neither of those things are actually links, however, this is), the final five performances of which are tonight, tomorrow afternoon, and next thursday, friday, and saturday, and in which I am featured prominently being somewhat funny while my co-star Alyssa is brutally, effortlessly, and transcendentally hilarious. Apropos of nothing, you should stop by, as tickets are a mere $10 and all proceeds go to help save endangered otters in Darfur*.
No, I do not blame you, Theatre@First. And that’s really not a link either.
No, see, when I look into my personal Mirror of Erised, which is just like the Mirror of Erised in the Harry Potter books except that it’s actually just a mirror with toothpaste spittle all over it, it shows me who I have to blame. And that person, my friends, is none other than me.
See, as soon as they started taking pre-orders for the book, I went onto Borders official website and told them to set aside a book for little ol’ me to pick up at midnight on July 21st, as I missed out on the whole midnight HP-dork experience the last three times they did it and wasn’t going to miss this one, dammit. Thing is, that was quite a long time ago. Long enough for me to forget which exact Borders location I ordered my book from.
There are, you see, several in the Boston area, and I’ve already called the two big ones downtown. They have no clue, but they both have very cute sounding, patient young women answering the phones, so that’s okay. Apparently, if I don’t pick up my pre-reserved book by tonight, they take it away from me and feed it to starving otters in Darfur** or something, so I need to find out exactly which Borders store has my book before this evening.
Oh yeah – I also got a confirmation email from Borders saying “we got your book! come an’ get it!” Which, of course, did not say exactly which location I had to go to. And, of course, Borders computers don’t like to talk to each other, so if I ask the nice patient young ladies if they can tell me in which store lies my copy, they have no way of checking. This is supremely annoying – what’s the point of being a big scary faceless corporate superstore if you can’t keep tabs on the other drone hives? It’s like they’re trying to piss me off.
Whatever. I did snap some pictures of my dorky-ass friends in Harry Potter costumes last night in Harvard Square, which I’ll put up here soon.
*-this is a lie, as you well know.
**-this continues to be a lie, and also tasteless.