All right, Mindful Meat Zombies.. (that’s my name for my regular readers. Ya like it? Me too. Cool.) here’s the situtation. My parents went away on a week’s vacation and they left the keys to the brand new porche sayin’…
Sorry. I’ve got this thing where whenever I hear someone say “Okay, here’s the situation..” I gotta launch into “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.
Okay, here’s the deal….. moved into a new place. Internet took a while to get set up. Was working fine for a couple of days, and then my roommate Neeb realised that people were leeching off our server, so he set up all this security on the thing. Unfortunately, no matter how many passwords and hex codes and whatever I try and type into the infernal machine to make it go, I can’t connect to teh interwebs now.
By which I mean: it saaaaaaays I’m connected to the interwebs. I can even open my browser and it says “Waiting for Yahoo.com…” or whatever. Which means it can see the web, but the web can’t see my computer for some lame-ass Windows related reason for which I blame Bill Gates and an archaic DOS-based structure that hasn’t made sense since 1980.
(By the way, don’t you love how I know enough about computers to know why Windows is a crap OS, but not enough to actually fix the problem? Welcome to my brain.)
So: if anyone has any ideas, that’d rule. All I know is it’s keeping me from my fruitless job search and my searing analysis of Chris Crocker, the John Kerry tazer-incident, that MIT girl who got arrested at the airport for, basically, acting like an MIT student, and the massive nerd convergence I attended on sunday, which was actually pretty cool.
Once the floodgates spring open and the internet can see me, and then after I download all the
porn NPR podcasts I’ve missed out on, I’ll get back to my media empire. But first I gotta figure out why the pipes are clogged.
I’m at the Boston Public Library right now, by the way, in case you needed an excuse. Also: it’s a LinkSys router, it’s Verizon DSL, it’s currently set up to require a hex key, it tells me it’s connecting, it connects, and then it doesn’t act like it’s connected. I’ve unplugged/reset both the modem and the router. This kind of thing makes me violently frustrated and my wall now has a fun new dent. Please help.
The sock monkey is scared. The sock monkey has reason to be scared.