Scientists have discovered a Giant Creepy Skeleton of Giant Evil Scorpion-Thing That’s Like Eight-Feet Long.
I hate giant insects. I can’t even watch Them!, or go anywhere near the giant housefly at the science museum. I’ve seriously got two big irrational fears, and it’s this and the eye thing. In hell, giant insects eat out your eyeballs. It’s true. I know a guy.
So, waking up this morning, and finding confirmation that, yes, there were giant insects once upon a time, and they weren’t even nice giant insects, wasn’t the best news I could have received.
Paleontologist Simon Braddy, who’s obviously some kind of sicko, reported that “This is an amazing discovery. We have known for some time that the fossil record yields monster millipedes, super-sized scorpions, colossal cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies. But we never realized until now just how big some of these ancient creepy-crawlies were,” he said.
I honestly believe that there are some things man was not meant to know about, and I’m pretty sure that “monster millipedes” is like number three on that list.