the new hampshire primary

09 Jan

Well, the New Hampshire primary was held yesterday, and as the polls predicted, the winners were two surging self-styled outsiders with a yen for change wait a minute what?

(image stolen from because like they’re gonna care)

Man, I love this election.  I love it, I love it, I love it.  I’m as jazzed about this election as everyone else I know seems to be jazzed about the Patriots, who, as I understand it, are doing quite well these days.  I don’t necessarily love the results of the New Hampshire primary, mind you, but that’s the way the (name of New Hampshire-specific baked good) crumbles.

You know, New Hampshire doesn’t have a food, come to think of it.  There’s Boston Baked Beans and Rhode Island Quahogs and Maine Lobster and Vermont Maple Syrup.  Iowa has corn and Ohio has buckeyes (a chocolate and peanut butter candy in the shape of a buckeye that our hotel had the last time I was there), Wisconsin has cheese, New Jersey has White Castle, and so on.   To which I say: get on it, Granite State, and invent something tasty.  Down here in Massachusetts, we’ve even got an official state cookie: the noble chocolate chip, invented – guess where – at a Massachusetts toll house.  You folks certainly have enough of those.

I appear to be getting away from myself again.  Although, before we continue, it should be noted that a couple years ago, the people who make Hood ice cream decided to name a line of flavors after various things in New England – Maine Blueberry, Cape Cod Fudge Shop, etc.  Somehow, New Hampshire didn’t get a flavor at all.  I mean, what about Old Man In The Malted?  Live Free or Crunch?  Lake Winnepeppermintstick-awkee?  Some people just aren’t trying very hard, and they all live just up I-93 from me.

However, we can thank these people for one thing, and that’s turning out in droves to prove the pollsters wrong.  Except that they actually proved the pollsters from about two weeks ago right.  When Obama and Huckabee walked away with the Iowa caucus, it was such a shock to the system of the mainstream media that they seriously didn’t know what to do next, and so they threw up their hands and said “well, obviously we don’t know what we’re talking about.”  And then, in less than a week, the first actual primary (i.e. the first time the votes count) goes exactly the way they said it would, say, a year ago.  

Now, I don’t think this means anything, really (you know who won the New Hampshire primary in 1992?  Paul Tsongas and Pat Buchanan, of course) but it’s still interesting how prognosticators trip over their own predictions sometimes.  New Hampshire folk are notoriously crotchety, no-nonsense, Yankee types, so of course they’d like McCain.  They’re also more middle-of-the-road moderate than most, so of course they’d like Sen. Clinton.   Unless….

…and this is a big unless; a conspiracy theory “unless” designed to drive you insane and sleepless…. unless the votes have already been tampered with.  This has been a big problem as of late, and if you don’t know about it I’m not going to tell you.  Instead, I’ll let Robert Kennedy’s kid do it for me.  What if… Hillary only won because some shadowy GOP type decided she should, because she’s the easiest candidate for them to beat in the general election?  And before you go telling me I’m crazy, let me remind you that Rupert Murdoch, the Fox News guy, held a fundraiser for Ms. Clinton last year, leading some to suspect that even those who have attacked her mercilessly for years and years really want her to be the Democratic nominee for the same reason that, say, the Red Sox really wanted the Rockies to win the National League pennant last time around.

Call me crazy….

Then again, it is 2:30 am.

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Posted by on January 9, 2008 in politics


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