let’s live blog Super Tuesday!!

05 Feb

Feb. 5, 2008, 8:02pm EST

Hokay. Today: temped at a cool non-profit near South Station that helps developing countries with medical stuff. Had to operate – no kidding – a typewriter, to fill in little boxes on packing slips. Then, voted. Then, got me some spicy shrimp lo-mein, a bottle of riesling, got home, and my roommate had commandeered the TV to play his shiny new XBox 360. Kicking myself for not wanting to bring my TV to my new place. Turned on the computer, cranked up the NPR, got noodles hanging out of my mouth, and here we go.

(note: the following is going out “as is”. Normally, I proofread and edit and whatnot, but tonight, I’m just…. well, ranting. Sorry.)

24 states, from Massachusetts to Alaska (or so sayeth the velvet tones of NPR Lady), voting today. McCain carrying Connecticut and Illinois for the GOP, no surprise there. Obama also carrying Illinois, Georgia, Alabama, no surprise there. Mittens carrying Massachusetts…..



Granted, there aren’t that many Republicans in my Bay State home, but the ones that do live here do listen to a lot of Jay Severin, a man who seriously thinks that Mittens has what it takes to be President on account of sorta looking like a young Reagan. Seriously, conservatives here looooove Jay Severin, who calls them the best and brightest like he’s the fucking Lies Riefenstahl of the airwaves or something. I frequently listen to Mr. Severin as well, it should be noted, so I can yell at my car’s dashboard.

(big glug of Riesling)

The Massachusetts democratic tally is, as is, too close to call. And, yeah, I voted for my man Barack (or, as my dad calls him, “that Irish fella, Mr. O’Bama.”)

February 5, 2008, 8:20pm EST
I just realized that I neglected to mention here that, yes, Mitt Romney used to be my Governor, and that’s why his winning Massachusetts so baffles me. Yeah, it’s sort of his home state. I mean, NPR insists on telling me that Massachusetts is his home state, so whatever, I’ll buy it, I just want my tote bag.

But, really, the man’s a carpetbagger. Sure, the same could be said about Mrs. Clinton, (who, it should be mentioned, won in Tennessee and Oklahoma) but, as attentive readers of this stream may know, I kind of like Hillary Clinton and kind of despise Mitt (click on the respective links and see why). You’re only allowed to claim one state as your home per election cycle – that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it, and he can’t be from Michigan and from here. Also, he’s a slimeball who’ll do anything to get elected.

Here’s something cool, though: Barack Obama won Georgia. Now, Hillary still had more white male voters (at 49%) but Barack had 46% of white males. A black guy in Georgia almost won the black male Democratic vote. Let’s all think about that and smile for a sec.

Look, I know Massachusetts Republicans. I grew up in a town full of Massachusetts Republicans. The reason Mittens won the Massachusetts Republican primary-

(another glug of riesling)

-the reason Mitler won the Massachusetts Republican primary is because, seriously, most Massachusetts Republicans are a) big business types, b) smug and slimy, and c) exactly like Mitt bloody Romney.

February 5, 2008, 8:34pm
Incidentally, Huckabee won West Virginia and Arkansas. I think at one point I would have been pleased by this news, but that’s before a) Bradley Jay came to me and told me why Huckabee was an evil, evil man with an evil, evil son, and b) my girlfriend posted this. Really, they’re two of the wisest folk I know, so who am I to argue?

Also, I like that I descended from monkeys.

February 5, 2008, 8:55pm

Just because I sorta like Hillary Clinton doesn’t mean that I’m happy she’s winning Massachusetts.

Apparently, the women-folk are turning out for her. Well, good for them.

No. You know what? Screw the nineteenth amendment.

(I don’t really mean that.)

February 5, 9:24pm
Okay, my friend Lauryn over at Oh, The Dramaturgy just called me and made a good point about Hillary Clinton, whom she endorses almost whole-heartedly. However, before we discuss, it should be mentioned that Lauryn is from Providence, RI, where the mayor just got done doin’ time in the big house and still remains a local hero. Also, she went to Wellesley, so not only is she biased towards fellow alumnus Hillary Rodham Clinton, she also hates men.
(Okay, that’s all reeeeally unfair. I was just really pulling for Barack to win Massachusetts.)

Anyway, what she said was that Hillary would probably be a better President because she knows how to get things done in Washington, having been there before, and that she understands that change comes slowly, and that it’s seriously unfair what people have said about her. And I agree. I just think Obama has a better chance of snaring independents, and he’s only had eighteen months of bullshit slung at him, whereas Sen. Clinton has, unfortunately, had eighteen years.

Sen. Clinton has won her “home state” of New York, as well as New Jersey. No surprise there, really. McCain also won New York and New Jersey. Somehow, Hillary vs. McCain seems like the sort of thing we’re likely to get come November. I’m just worried that it’s not the sort of thing the Democrats can win.

Apparently, as of 9:30, Mittens has only won one primary: Massachusetts. I’m taking this way more personally than I should.

By the way, if you’re listening to NPR right now, you’re hearing Robert Siegel and Michelle Norris. Except it’s pronounced “Meee-shell.” From now on, I’m referring to myself as “Ay-n-dae.”

Also, if you want a perspective that is simultaneously more professional and more west coasty, I recommend you check out Japhy Grant’s blog The Modern Romantic, where he’s doing the same thing I am. Except right now, he’s grabbing a sub.

Orrin Hatch is on NPR right now telling us that McCain-Feingold is a disaster. In case you don’t know, McCain-Feingold is a reform bill that basically says “okay, we all know rich people control everything, but we’d rather they didn’t necessarily control democracy.” It’s seriously one of those things that nobody hates unless they’re stupid, evil, or Orrin Hatch. Luckilly, Robert Siegel tried to cut off his paleolithic ass.

Doesn’t Robert Siegel look exactly like you think an NPR guy should look?

What’s really weird on the Republican side, right now, is that McCain and Huckabee are currently neck and neck in Alabama, of all places. From my admittedly parochial Nor’eastern perspective, I would have thought Huckabee, with his bible-thumpin’ aw-shucks women-should-be-neither-seen-nor-heard attitude, would have that state in his pocket, whereas someone like McCain would be lucky to beat a write in candidate or two.

I’ve just realized that I can watch MSNBC online, so farewell for now, Robert and Mee-shell.

To review:

– McCain is walking away with the Republican primaries, but the Conservatives don’t like him.

– Hillary is just about walking away with the Democratic primaries, but those necessary Independents don’t like her, and Obama is fairly close.

– This is, seriously, the best campaign season ever. Ever. Maybe Lincoln vs. All Those Other Guys in 1860 was better, but they didn’t have live streaming video.

(by the way, the old dead black and white dude is John Breckenridge. He ran against Lincoln. I’m just showing off.)

No, really. This is fascinating. I mean, what does it mean when Obama seems to be winning the primaries in most of the states the Democrats never win, but Clinton seems to be winning the battle for the most delegates? Do they go with Obama, in hopes of picking up – I don’t know -Kansas or something, or do they play it safe? And the Republicans – McCain’s gonna win tonight, but there are plenty of Republicans who won’t ever vote for McCain, who might vote for Huckabee, except there aren’t many Independents who’ll vote for Huckabee. Also, Mittens has won in one state – his “home” state, and my home state – and nowhere else, and he was supposed to be the ghost of Ronald Reagan or something.

You know how excited you get over football/Jesus/porn? That’s how jazzed I am right now. Oh, and according to MSNBC, John Edwards is winning in Utah.

Brian Williams just interviewed New Mexico Gov. (and former also-ran) Bill Richardson, who is now sporting a snazzy beard. His beard looks better than that. It’s interesting that both he and Al Gore elected to grow beards after they didn’t wind up becoming President – time was, you couldn’t get elected dog catcher without a full face of scruff. Every President from Lincoln to Cleveland had facial hair – that’s forty years of non-shaven Presidential mugs. The last President to sport any kind of facial hair – apart from Nixon, who couldn’t help it and had to shave like nine times a day – was William Howard Taft.

You see, Taft was a baaaaad mutha…. you know what? No.

Brian Williams then interviewed Sen. Mel Martinez, because you gotta get all sides of the Hispanic spectrum. Mel Martinez is, strangely enough, not the same Florida congressman that 2 Live Crew famously dissed in their tune “F**k Martinez”, but he might as well be.

MSNBC has just called Connecticut for Barack Obama. GO NUTMEG STATE!!!!

I wrote a song:

Oh Connecticut

We love yoooou

You are the state

we drive throooough

When we’re going somewhere else

Connecticut, we love your smell.

Apparently, people are Twittering now. Julia (aka LeDiva) is, and she sends this link to a Google map where you can see what people from all across the country are saying right now about this madness.

Twittering, I don’t know. Most of the time, it’s like “I am going to the fridge to get a popsicle,” and then it’s “I am unwrapping the popsicle,” and then it’s “the popsicle is orange! yum!” However, on a night like tonight, it’s freakin’ democracy in action and you better check it out.

Let’s see… Joe Lieberman was on MSNBC a second ago fellating John McCain. I didn’t like him when he was the VP nominee and I didn’t like him when he was whining about obscenity and violence in the media and I really don’t like him now. Now they’ve got Tavis Smiley and Peggy Noonan, who just got done talking to the BBC. How exactly do you explain Super Tuesday, and especially this Super Tuesday, to the Brits?

Julia also notes that CNN and Salon and Twitter have different delegate counts, and she wants me to explain. Personally, I have no idea – as fascinating as I find the political process, the sad fact of the matter is that a lot of it involves math. I think it has something to do with certain news outlets counting the delegates that a candidate has already picked up (in New Hampshire and South Carolina, etc.) and other news outlets counting the delegates a candidate has picked up tonight.



Fever2Tell (my cute lady friend, seen above) has returned from rehearsal, and she’s blogging too. Seriously, you need to check out the YouTube video she found on Mittens, and then you need to check out Henry Rollins rebuttal. This is why she’s awesome.

Hillary’s making a speech from her New York HQ, and she’s trying to sound like Barack Obama.

It should be noted at this point that, down south they’re experiencing some really crappy weather. Here in Massachusetts, a state where stupid Romney won, it’s like 50 degrees and damp, but pleasant. However, Mother Nature’s made it real difficult for some folks to get to the polls today. People got hurt, so I feel like a jerk wondering how much this affected the vote. Still, I’m wondering how much this affected the vote.

Fever2Tell reminds me that local Obama supporters are hanging out at the Middle East in Cambridge tonight. Head on down and buy ‘em a beer. If you do go, take pictures, and we recommend the hummus plate.

Lauryn brought up a good point on the forums. Okay, I don’t have forums, I have comments, but saying I have forums makes me feel important.

Anyway, Lauryn noted that they seemed to call Connecticut for Obama right quick, when he only had 50% of the vote. As soon as she says this, on comes Chris Matthews saying “California is too close to call!” Which, well, yes it’s too close to call, because only 1% of counties have reported. The media, again, is playing up the horse race nature of the campaign and neglecting silly things like, ya know, logic. This is like saying, in mid-April, that the World Series is too close to call.

Not that I haven’t totally played in to the whole “horse race” bit, especially tonight. It’s exciting. The future of the country seriously lies on a razor’s edge this time, and could tip either way. Except that if it was really on a razor’s edge, it would probably be in a lot of pain. Which it is. But not the future. Cuz the future is bright and I’m all about hope. You know what I mean.

::drinks more Riesling::

Mmm. Where was I? Okay – Fever2Tell’s watching NECN, and they just had Jane Swift on for some reason. Jane Swift used to be the Governor of Massachusetts, and the less said about her, the better. Let’s just say that the fact that she was on NECN tonight should say a lot about the straws NECN is grasping for. Poor guys.

Me, I’ve still got MSNBC on, and Tim Russert again doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.

11:31 pm
The GOP and Democratic Minnesota caucuses have pretty much been won by Mitt Romney and Barack Obama, respectively.


From now on, that means we have to call it Mittensota. Or Minnobama.

McCain’s basically declaring victory for the whole night. He really did emerge as the front runner, which has gotta piss off Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, et al. Rush said the Republican party as we know it would die if McCain was the nominee. Ann went so far as to say she’d vote for Hillary if the Arizona Senator found himself atop the ticket.

Except…. I’ll bet you, I’ll bet you a million bucks that in the next few months, you’ll hear Rush say “well, um, er, I guess McCain wouldn’t be so bad, heh heh…” I’ll betcha.

Okay, Obama’s doing his thing now. I gotta go listen. But here’s something: if McCain’s the nominee, then McCain vs. ANYONE means at least one good thing – the United States will no longer sanction torture, and Canada won’t have to be afraid of us anymore.

It looks like California is going for Hillary. Hmm. Well, okay. She wins this, she basically wins Super Tuesday, except that here’s Obama making some real good points about how he should be the nominee anyway. I’ll get the video up when I can, but… sigh. I love that man. I really do.
February 6, 12:04am
“We are the one’s we’ve been waiting for.”
You know what? I’m running out tomorrow and working for Barack Obama’s campaign. The man needs to be the President. He needs to win the nomination. I’ll hand out stickers.

All right… so we’re still waiting on Alaska, who’s got that annoying “in a totally different time zone” thing going on, and Missouri. Normally, as goes Missouri so goes the country, or something, and tonight it’s confused and way too close to call. Barack’s leading by a hangnail and so’s McCain. As Tom Brokaw, who took some time off from writing books about old people to hang out with Keith and Chris, is saying right now, the race goes on.

Chris keeps punctuating the broadcast with his horrendous cackling laugh, by the way. Ironic, no?


All right, that was totally fun and we should do it again some time. Again, it looks like McCain will be the nominee, even though the Republican base doesn’t like him, and that Sen. Clinton probably won tonight, at least, even though a lot of people don’t like that idea. Sen. Obama certainly has momentum and Huckabee did a lot better than anyone expected. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a McCain-Huckabee ticket and an Obama-Clinton/Clinton-Obama ticket, and God knows who’ll win there?

Whatever. I got to vote for Barack Obama today.

Have a good night.


Posted by on February 5, 2008 in live bloggin', politics


3 responses to “let’s live blog Super Tuesday!!

  1. ChrisClark

    February 6, 2008 at 11:45 am

    I’ve been avoiding the boob tube and most of the Interweb for fear of hearing/reading anything about the colossal collapse of the local football franchise, so I had no idea how things were going down last night until I read this, this morning. Good work, sir.

    I think that, no matter who we rational human beings support on the Democratic side, we all have to be happy that McCain is the frontrunner for the GOP nod. I mean, if we’re basically down to a three-way battle between Clinton, Obama, and McCain, then I’m happy. Because, while I’m a Hillary supporter, I could live with any one of those three as president.


  2. Lauryn's Mom

    February 7, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    Hey, Andy…On NBC’s TODAY show the other day, I believe I heard Pat Buchanan say that if John McCain wins he’ll make Dick Cheney look like Gandhi. I haven’t verified this…maybe you can…but I can’t get that thought out of my head….


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