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dropping mittens

08 Feb

Well, Mittens the Wonder Bread Superfly dropped out of the race for the presidency yesterday. I’m not entirely shocked – I think even Republicans realized that the last thing our country needs right now is another CEO President.

Now their choice is down to Huckabee and McCain, who, from a purely Jungian perspective, represent the other two parts of the GOP meta-psyche. I’m not entirely responsible for this theory, by the by: in her speech before Romney dropped out, vaguely fascist radio host Laura Ingraham talked about how awesome it was that Mitt represented the three core ideals of conservatism as she saw them, which are Fiscal Conservatism, Social Conservatism, and Strength on Defense. Or, as I would put it were I not so unfailingly polite, Screw The Poor, Praise The Lord, and Die! Die! Die!

It should be noted that, as much as I disliked Stupid Romney, it never had anything to do with his religion. I’ve known and liked Mormons in the past, even if their religion strikes me as extra strange and vaguely cultish and they’re all so – ooh – friendly you want to scream. A lot of religions have weird stuff in them, although Lawrence O’Donnell is right when he says that you can be, say, a Catholic and not buy everything the church is sellin’, whereas Mormons have to at least act like they believe in everything the church says or they have to give up their little black name tag pins.

His religion never worried me for one second – he was Governor of my state and I’m still allowed to drink and cuss as much as I like. He was even Governor when they lifted the ban on the sale of alcohol on Sundays, although I think that had less to do with waffling on morality and more to do with ensuring a steady, 7-day a week flow of income from us sinners into the State’s economy.

No, I never liked him because he’s spent his whole career downsizing people out of work and privatizing everything and pretending he’s a sweet naif of a man who’s got your best interests at heart while he’s cutting your pension in the name of “fiscal conservatism.”

Jezebel.com has some seriously funny stuff on Mittens throwing in the towel which you should go read. Also, they talk about Chaka Khan.

edited 12:03pm 

Mitt’s droppin’ out speech, by the way, sounded like “a conservative Mad Libs” (as Jon Stewart put it.)  You can watch A Daily Show making fun of it here:

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Posted by on February 8, 2008 in politics, youtube

 

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