Blah di blah di Bush is an idiot blah di unjustified invasion blah blah Katrina blah blah Karl Rove dippity doo Supreme Court bleh di bluh dick cheney is evil blah gas prices blah corporate control fascism skabadoo health care crisis bleh redistribution of wealth blah blah fox news.
Look, mates, it’s getting old. Things suck. Things continue to suck. Things will continue to suck for a very long time. I hate easy answers. Still, let’s be honest here: one way or another, it’s all Bush’s fault. AND FRANKLY, IT’S FUCKING BORING!
I mean, come on. Here we are in the middle of a campaign season, the most important one in our lifetimes, and we’ve got the chance to make history. No matter who wins, America will be led, for the first time, by a black guy/a white gal/an Ancient Sumerian. And this is exciting. Let’s talk about their plans to fix this country! Let’s see how they can…
….oh, wait, no, sorry. It turns out that the black guy, who we all thought was one o’ them Islams, actually goes to a Christian church where the pastor sometimes says some not-nice things about America. Let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about this, in fact, at great length. Let’s act like this is the biggest story since the goddamn moon landing. Stop the presses! Sources Claim Obama In Same Room As Guy Who Says Stuff. Holy shit.
This prompted the Senator to give an awesome speech about race and why divisiveness is stupid that you should all watch because, seriously, it is the Gettysburg Address of the 21st century. When Obama’s president, this will be his entry in those Great Presidential Speeches books you see in the discount section of Barnes and Noble. But, still, the only reason he had to give the speech in the first place is because some tool decided that Pastorgate was a bigger story than, say, the fact that gas is now $3.30 a gallon or that 4,000 of our soldiers have died in Iraq or that there’s some serious shit going down in China, with human rights protestors pretty much interrupting everything to do with the upcoming Olympic games.
Everything sucks. Everything sucks. Everyone sucks and everything is terrible and everything sucks. And there’s only so many ways I can say that this is all Bush’s fault, one way or another. Well, except the China stuff. They did that to their damn selves.
The point is this: even though it’s election season and a lot of you come here for political analysis, I’m done with that for now. I’m burnt out. I have a lot going on in my life right now and, really, if I’m going to write, I’d much rather write about old TV shows and video games and songs that I like. You know: fun geek stuff as opposed to unfun geek stuff.
The Bush years have supposedly been a great time for satire, because the jokes have nearly written themselves and because comedy was the only way you could get away with dissent for a couple of years there. That’s one of the reasons Jon Stewart refuses, in every interview you read with him, to admit how important he or his show have become. But the jokes have all gotten old, and to me, it really isn’t that funny anymore that the rest of the world hates our guts. It isn’t funny that we’re probably going to elect McCain to be our next President because the two Democratic contenders can’t get along. Karl Rove isn’t funny. Dick Cheney saying “so?” in response to a reporter’s statement that the majority of Americans
think he’s a warmongering fascist think we should get out of Iraq is really not funny.
It’s no longer profound to say that everything sucks, because everyone knows everything sucks and we’d really like to do something to change it, but we have to wait until November and we’re probably going to screw that up too. I mean, I could point you in the direction of a thousand articles that basically read the same thing: George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are war criminals that have screwed up this country for a long time and mired us in a pointless war and like to clip the heads off of live bunnies with pinking shears. Seriously. There’s a blog called The Smirking Chimp, which is a collection of articles from around the web, and almost all of them follow that exact same template. Every so often you actually read about something interesting and new that you can get angry about, but most of the time, it’s blah blah Bush is a war criminal and yaddah yaddah Condoleeza doopdidoo things are bad. And things are bad. The problem is, there’s only so many ways you can say it.
Kurt Vonnegut. That’s why I’m taking a politics hiatus – Kurt Vonnegut. Today at work, I met one of our construction guys, who looked almost exactly like Kurt Vonnegut, which meant that, instead of doing an inventory of copier toners like I was supposed to I found this review of A Man Without A Country, Vonnegut’s last book before he died. I enjoyed the book when I read it, mind you. But the reviewer said something interesting, and that’s why I wrote this entry. He said:
Vonnegut pulls the reader along as he tramps down all the well-trod liberal critiques of the contemporary American political stage: Fox News is a punch line, “the three most powerful men on the planet [are] named Bush, Dick, and Colon,” Americans are addicted to oil, and the war in Iraq is not a just war (40). Offering nothing beyond the same jokes one might find in the monologues preceding late-night talk shows, Vonnegut’s jokes almost elicit the same forced canned laughter used to disguise a studio audience’s lackluster response to a gag which bombed during taping.
And the thing is, that’s true. In chronological order, here are the six most important American authors ever: Edgar Allan Poe, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mark Twain, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sinclair Lewis, Kurt Vonnegut. I don’t know who’s gonna take Vonnegut’s place. Someone will. But it ain’t gonna be me, and furthermore, if Kurt Vonnegut couldn’t come up with an original take on this administration and their B.S., then Andy Hicks certainly can’t. Around the time of that book’s publication, Kurt gave an interview to Rolling Stone magazine basically saying that this is the end of the world and it was all pointless. In other words, the guy who managed to wring satire out of being a prisoner of war in World War II found the current state of the planet too grim to write satire about. I’m sure someone can offer a fresh look at the world we live in, but it ain’t me, baby.
A month or so ago, I posted about Oliver Stone’s intentions to make a Nixon-esque film about George W. Bush. My main concern with that idea is that he intends to make it in the next few years, when in fact a better film might require some waiting. There’s a reason why there haven’t been any really successful Iraq war films – everyone’s sick of it and we don’t know what it means yet. I’m not offering any meaningful analysis here that isn’t already offered elsewhere. I’m not writing the first draft of history. And I certainly don’t know what any of this means. All this guy knows is that everybody seems a little bit more miserable today than they did yesterday, and yesterday they seemed a little bit more miserable than the day before that. In short, everything sucks, I don’t know why, and until I figure out why, I’m not going to write a damn word about anything except pop songs and cancelled television programs.