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GeekUSA Most Wanted, March 31, 2008

31 Mar

All blogs are self-congradulatory in one way or another.  They all hinge on the basic idea that someone out there gives a flying fig what you have to say, which is a pretty egotistical prospect, if you think about it.  Unless you’re Joss Whedon or MC Hammer, no one cares but you and your Mom.  And your Mom’s only reading because she wants to spy on you. 

However, WordPress (god bless ’em) makes it real easy to believe that you are, in fact, hot shit; a “new-media mogul” with a virtual audience of cyber-millions.  They do this in a couple of ways, but the most noticable is the “Most Wanted…” feature at the side of your blog.   This is where they list your top 10 posts in order of popularity.  

So, in the interest of disappearing up my own ass finding out what brings people to this blog in the first place, I’ve decided to revisit my “most popular posts”.   Enjoy if you can.

(ed. note: I forgot to mention that GeekUSA recently cracked the 4,000+ hits in a month mark.  Again, thanks, Mom!)

10) “That Rev. White/Obama Thing”  (from 3/18/08)

Reason for popularity: Well, it’s a big news story, no matter how much you wish it wasn’t.  Also, it’s one of my more recent attempts at political punditry (I’m trying to quit, really…) and the readership of this blog has gone up at a mostly steady clip since its creation.  So that’s that.

Looking back…: Not bad.  It was written in about ten seconds because it was an issue I had to say something about.  I could have gone on for days, but sometimes lack of time = punchiness.  

Also, I got the following comment:

Comment by JOE on March 28, 2008 3:31 pm

YOU MY FRIEND ARE AN IDIOT!!

I dissed MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough in that particular entry.  Could it be..? 

Naw.  Joe’s got like seven shows he’s the host of these days – he certainly doesn’t have the time to obsessively Google himself.  Or does he?

Why you gotta hate me, Morning Joe?

9) “Yes We Can, Doc” – (from 3/04/08)

Reason for popularity: It’s a perfect storm of pseudo-cultural studies bull hockey, lazy political punditry, and Warner Bros. cartoons.  Obama is Bugs Bunny.  Hillary is Daffy Duck.  John McCain is Marvin the Martian.

Looking back…: Well, it’s not like I came up with the idea or anything.  As I am incapable of hatching an original idea, the whole thing was really a commentary on a Slate.com article saying that Obama was Bugs Bunny and Hillary was Daffy Duck.  Certainly, I extrapolated on that, but it’s not like I said anything really original.  Even the comparison of Foghorn Leghorn to LBJ was lifted wholesale from an old Dave Barry column.  Still, Lauryn’s father commented, which is neat because he’s a real live newspaper man. 

8 ) “10 Songs For Three Months, January/February/March 2008” (posted 3/13/08)

Reason for popularity: No idea.  It’s a bog standard “10 songs I like right now” post, which I do from time to time, except that this time I slacked off and didn’t write one for three months.  Maybe laziness truly is the secret to my success.  Or maybe it’s all the Van She fans, coming here via search engines in the vain hope that I’ve written something interesting about the best band they’ve heard all afternoon.  Regardless….

Looking back…: Meh.  I’ve done better.  Also, Band of Horses is not a less-smug U2.  They’re a more shoegazy Dead Hot Workshop.  Duh.

7) “At The Crossroads of Awesome and Brilliant” (from 3/28/08)

Reason for popularity: Well, any time I mention any sort of slightly obscure but beloved pop culture thingy, I get tons of hits.  Here, I managed to connect Ramona Quimby (and Beverly Cleary’s entire Klickitat St. oevre) with Douglas Adams’s Hitchhiker’s Guide universe merely by Google mapping an intersection in Portland.  Go me.

Looking back…:  Ah, March 28, 2008.  I was so young and eager then; full of life, vigor, and vim.  Where has the time gone?

6) “Niiice!: Alvin and the Chipmunks (posted 11/11/07)

Reason for popularity:  There was a movie, I guess.  And, again, the Chipmunks are one of those slightly obscure things that people tend to Google a lot.

Looking back…:  This one’s actually pretty well written and funny, I’ve got to say.   Normally I use liberal amounts of YouTube to pad out my nonsensical blatherings, but here it actually works.  This is one of those rare occasions where I think I’ve done all right.  I still like my comparison of Alvin and co. to a late-90s nu-metal band.   I didn’t see the movie, by the way, because by all accounts it was poop.

5) “TV Riot: Heroes: Generations” Finale (from 12/04/07)

Reason for popularity: Probably just from people Googling “Heroes: Generations” after the finale.  No one’s commented on it, so the fact that it’s the fifth most read post on this blog is really strange. 

Looking back…: I think I’d meant to write more “TV Riot” posts (the name, by the way, comes from a song by The Adored), but haven’t, mostly due to lack of time.  This may change sometime soon, though – I have a crazy idea for a TV blog that I may or may not launch as a side project, but.. well, I’ll get back to ya.  At any rate, it’s a standard web review written in the immediate aftermath of the last Heroes episode we’re likely to get for a while.  Not great, so it’s a little embarassing that a lot of folks have read it.  Oh, and Generations was totally good, no matter what the stupid internet says.

4) “Songs You Don’t Know: ‘The Stowaway’ – Yamit Mamo” (from 11/03/07)

Reason for popularity: Umm.. there isn’t a lot of information on the ‘net about Yamit Mamo, but there are a lot of Doctor Who fans, and she sang a song on Doctor Who last Christmas.  I’d assume. 

Looking back…:  My favorite thing to write here is “Songs You Don’t Know”.  Unfortunately, this is the second most popular one I’ve written, and I think my writing here is lackluster and sucktastic, and uses the passive voice too much.  I mean, read this turd-blossom of a paragraph, about composer Murray Gold:

He’s the man who writes the score of each episode, and either you adore his signature style, which merges 21st century pop with traditional orchestral scoring techniques, or you wish he’d “stop telling you what to feel all the time,” to quote one poster on Outpost Gallifrey.  Me, I thought that a film or tv score was supposed to tell you how to feel to a certain extent, but whaaaatever. Science Fiction fans have never been known for their comfort with such human failings as “emotions,” which is why Leonard Nimoy and David Duchovny have both been considered sex symbols.

Ouch.  OUCH!  First of all, it’s smug.  Secondly, it’s dissonant.  Third, it sucks.  Fourth, I should seriously kill myself right now.

Pretty song, though.

3) “The Birthday Massacre, August 25 at the Middle East” (from July 29, 2007)

Reason for popularity: Probably people from search engines, looking for information on The Birthday Massacre.  They’re a band.  They played – omg – on my damn birthday.

Looking back…: This was from my old Myspace blog (which I’ve decided to leave out on an ice floe to wither away, so to speak) and I transplanted it here for reasons unknown.   It’s got a big gaping hole where a picture should be, and really, it’s just an invitation to my friends to come see a rock show on my birthday.  Stop reading it.  It’s not worth your time.

2) Songs You Don’t Know: “The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny“, Lemon Demon

Reason for popularity: Neil Cicierega has a lot of fangirls.  A lot.

Looking back:  Again with the big gaping picture hole.  Again with the slight embarrassment.  However, this one’s pretty well written, and the more people who know about Lemon Demon and Neil C., the better.  So, you know, this one’s okay.

1) “niiice! christmas, day four/five/six “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (or: Better Dead Than Red!)

Reason for popularity: Here, GeekUSA manages to do what the internet does best.  No, not the swift delivery of hot transexual furry action to the masses – I’m talking about the bold re-assesment of a beloved classic of children’s entertainment.  In this case, it’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, looked at as a prime example of anti-communist propaganda.  Which, of course, it is.

Looking back…: I wish I’d finished this.  I honestly got half-way through the movie and then had to go christmas shopping and direct a play and stuff.  The idea was to write about one christmas special a day throughout the season and I almost succeeded – the ones I did write were successful, I thought.  Except that, of course, the only one that anyone’s read is the one I didn’t finish.  So: I’m a big loser-head, is my point.

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