Monthly Archives: July 2008

Tennessee man shoots Unitarians, misses point.

The guy being led away by Tennessee’s finest here is the most important man in recent American history.  I’ll tell you why after the jump.

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Posted by on July 28, 2008 in Uncategorized


songs you (probably) know: “Popcorn”, Gershon Kingsley

Don’t laugh.  This silly lookin’ fella invented electronic pop music, more or less.  That’s right: without this guy, there’s no Freezepop, no Epoxies, no La Bouche, no Right Said Fred, no “Funkytown”, no Kraftwerk, and the ’80s wouldn’t be remembered half as fondly.  So show him some respect.  It’s high time we got around to talking about “Popcorn.”

No, silly bean head, not that type of popcorn.  However, they used to show that exact same ad at the drive-in movie theater in Chelmsford until it closed in 1986.  I love how the fact that they throw whole sticks of butter into the vat is supposed to be a selling point.  Nowadays, my arteries just feel like they’re going to choke.

“Popcorn” is the very first techno/synthpop song ever, or at least the first one to be a hit.

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you just got shawshanked!

Submitted for your approval, via the boys o’er at JibJab: it’s “The Shawshank Redemption” rap.

Possibly the best thing I’ve seen all day.  And it’s only 12:28am!

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Posted by on July 18, 2008 in movies, youtube


New Yorker cartoons still suck.

Let’s talk about this nonsense right here:

As you can see, the cover of the New Yorker depicts Senator Obama as a flag-burnin’, funny clothes wearin’ Muslim exchanging terrorist fist bumps with his wife, dressed as some crazy Black Panther militant chick with an Uzi.  You will note that neither one of them wears a flag pin.

I get it.  Here, in this cartoon, is every ridiculous rumor, stereotype, and half-truth ever spread about the Obamas rolled into one.  It’s everything your grandmother has tried to warn you about via email over the past year, and the only thing it’s missing is a jpeg of a cow with the Virgin Mary on its back.  Next week’s cartoon: someone using their cell phone to pop popcorn.  Oh ho ho.

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Posted by on July 16, 2008 in politics, toons, tv


The Onion goes directly after my awkward teenage jugular

High School Tony Awards Honor Nation’s Biggest Drama Club Nerds

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Posted by on July 13, 2008 in Uncategorized


Festival @ First V! Holy Crap!

Perhaps, last year, you remember me appearing in a series of short, funny plays in Somerville.  You know, the ones where I met Fever2Tell.   Wellll… she’s in it again this year.  I’m not.  You know why?  Cuz I’m the artistic director, that’s why.  Duh.

Come see it. Here are details.

Theatre@First presents Festival@First 5: Nothing Serious.
7 one-act plays by Rich Orloff showing the heights and the
lows of modern life from romance to art. It’s very serious
comedy! Except for the blinky lighty box. And the romantic
cavewoman. And the penguin.

The Festival runs from July 31st to August 9th. Tickets are
$12, $10 for students/seniors. Reserve your tickets now
at our handy website http://www.theatrea

Thursday, July 31 at 8pm
Friday, August 1 at 8pm
Saturday, August 2 at 8pm
Sunday, August 3 at 3pm (matinee)

Thursday, August 7 at 8pm
Friday, August 8 at 8pm
Saturday, August 9 at 8pm

Performed at The First Congregational Church of Somerville
89 College Ave. (just 4 blocks up from the Davis T stop)
Fully accessible to the physically challenged.

Tickets: $12 for adults and $10 for students/seniors
Reservations may be made online at http://www.theatrea
Or E-mail tickets@theatreatfi
Or by calling 1-888-874-7554

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Posted by on July 11, 2008 in Uncategorized


spam is getting more and more creative

This comment appeared after I posted my diatribe about dentistry.  I didn’t approve it, but I thought I’d share it anyway.  It’s either the result of very creative spamming or undiagnosed schizophrenia.

I dont like dentist and I don’t know what sort of abuse My dentist was subjected to as a child that made him such a nerdy control freak but I do know that my goal is to get him to realize that he uses ageism as a hammer to forge the irritable administrators who will promote the prissy perversions of self-indulgent, quarrelsome slobs in the coming days.

Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed loudmouth, that’s his prerogative. In summary, it is my prayer that people everywhere will join me in my quest to disabuse My dentist of the notion that the few of us who complain regularly about his work are simply spoiling the party.

Here, here.

Now, as my rant had less to do with dentists than it did with the health care industry in general, it’s safe to say that whoever wrote this thing probably didn’t actually read the article.  So, is it spam or not?  You decide.


Posted by on July 7, 2008 in Uncategorized