rnc, day one, sort of: my cynicism reaches its breaking point, already.

01 Sep

Much like the choice of Gov. Sarah “Perky” Palin as McCain’s running mate, the presense of Hurricane Gustave is either really good for the Republican party, or really bad, and no one’s quite sure yet.  I sure ain’t.

Actually, no: I’m quite sure that both of those things are really good for the GOP.  While Palin’s got her issues (oh, man does she – check out this Alaska politics blog right here) she’s also a pro-life, religiously conservative, pro-gun woman.  He’s basically laid claim to social conservatives and bitter ex-Hillary types – neither of whom were really interested in voting for McCain to begin with – in one fell swoop.  Plus, she’s unassuming and lovable, and goddamnit she’s gonna make her daughter go through with that pregnancy, or the terrorists will win.

If the GOP’s latest narrative – that Barack Obama is some sort of preening egotist – resonates at all, then Ms. Palin’s “aw shucks, who me?” attitude towards being chosen as McCain’s running mate will help her a lot.  This is why Hurricane Gustave helps the Republicans.  Sure, it disrupts their convention.  It also gives them an excuse to act humble in the face of a national tragedy.  I swear to God, the underlying message of all of this is “just compare how we’re acting now to Barackapalooza last week!”

I mean, Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin might not even show up, on account of their sudden concern for poor people.  They’re down in the gulf region right now, and I’d absolutely love to commend them for their service.  I really, really would.  I’d love to say this transcends politics and we’re all standing together as Americans, but I swear to God, where were they three years ago when Hurricane Katrina smashed and drowned New Orleans?  Where were they when our government failed to respond?  You know who helped out?  Americans.  I am, every day, proud of Americans.  You know who didn’t do shit?  America. And I can’t help but notice what political party happened to be in charge at the time.

So while I commend anyone for putting themselves in harms way to help others, and for skipping their own party to be of service, I’m slightly baffled by the idea that McCain and Palin can’t make it up to St. Paul, just for the evening, to accept their nomination, on account of there being a hurricane at the other end of the country.  Is it that they suddenly feel the call of service?  Do they think it would be inappropriate given the current circumstances?  Or is this a deft act of political preening that goes beyond anything the Democratic nominee could ever do?

Sorry for being so cynical.

The Duke says it’s okay to be cynical sometimes.

Anyway, this whole hurricane thing is really putting a damper on the Republican National Convention, an affair which has never failed to wow the living shit out of everyone with its raditude.

Laura Bush, who was probably just looking for an excuse to leave the house, did drop by, to introduce a video of several gulf governors who couldn’t make it because, you know, their states were being pummeled by the nasty aftershocks of climate change Jesus’s wrath over teh gay marryin.  Cindy McCain was there, too, and she mentioned a website called Cause Greater, which tells you how to give aid to the gulf states.  Oh, and there’s a big McCain for President ad at the bottom of the page.  What a coincidence.

Anyway, my co-worker Josh just mentioned something interesting about Gov. Palin’s kid: you’ll notice, in all the shots of her up to this point, she’s holding Gov. Palin’s recently born baby.  Holding a baby is an excellent way to hide a pregnancy.

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Posted by on September 1, 2008 in Uncategorized


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