For the record, KinderSuprise (or KinderEggs, or if you’re German, “Kindereier”) are pretty awesome. Herr Joyce used to go on and on about them in my high school Deutscheklasse, and how nifty the toys were. And they are nifty – there’s usually lots of little moving parts, and you snap them together yourself, and the whole thing has to fit inside a chocolate egg that’s only slightly larger than a real egg. When you’re done, you have a (very tiny) real working helicopter with spinning blades, or a groovy little robot, or a toy dog. It’s pretty keen.
Rumor was, they couldn’t sell them in America because some stupid gluttonous kid tried to eat the whole thing at once and choked on the toy. The actual reason probably had something to do with the Cold War, and the fear that the Soviets could use the eggs to smuggle a cute widdle army of eenie weenie Commies into our candy shops, like an Eastern bloc trojan horse of chocolatey goodness. Either way, they started selling them in the US about 10 years ago, and you can find them if you know where to look. The chocolate’s pretty good, too, as it’s made by the same people who make those chocolatey cluster-things in the gold wrappers you give to people you don’t know very well on Christmas, in the hopes that the people are diabetic and you can have them instead.
But, dude, this commercial’s terrible. It features some hideous, horrible Humpty Dumpty monster losing his shit over a KinderEgg, and then committing suicide. It’s enough to make you swear off chocolate, robot toys, and Germany forever.