geek usa is brought to you by….: KinderSuprise chocolate eggs!

15 Oct

For the record, KinderSuprise (or KinderEggs, or if you’re German, “Kindereier”) are pretty awesome.  Herr Joyce used to go on and on about them in my high school Deutscheklasse, and how nifty the toys were.  And they are nifty – there’s usually lots of little moving parts, and you snap them together yourself, and the whole thing has to fit inside a chocolate egg that’s only slightly larger than a real egg.  When you’re done, you have a (very tiny) real working helicopter with spinning blades, or a groovy little robot, or a toy dog.  It’s pretty keen.

Rumor was, they couldn’t sell them in America because some stupid gluttonous kid tried to eat the whole thing at once and choked on the toy.  The actual reason probably had something to do with the Cold War, and the fear that the Soviets could use the eggs to smuggle a cute widdle army of eenie weenie Commies into our candy shops, like an Eastern bloc trojan horse of chocolatey goodness.  Either way, they started selling them in the US about 10 years ago, and you can find them if you know where to look.  The chocolate’s pretty good, too, as it’s made by the same people who make those chocolatey cluster-things in the gold wrappers you give to people you don’t know very well on Christmas, in the hopes that the people are diabetic and you can have them instead.

But, dude, this commercial’s terrible.  It features some hideous, horrible Humpty Dumpty monster losing his shit over a KinderEgg, and then committing suicide.  It’s enough to make you swear off chocolate, robot toys, and Germany forever.


Posted by on October 15, 2008 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “geek usa is brought to you by….: KinderSuprise chocolate eggs!

  1. Lauryn

    October 16, 2008 at 9:54 am

    “like an Eastern bloc trojan horse of chocolatey goodness”


    Lines like this make me miss you extra hard.


  2. Muppetfan

    October 16, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    Kinderschoko Eier! That add is seriously disturbing. Where in the world did you find it?

    As for the eggs, I grew up in Germany, and you’d get those things for one DM at the local bakeries (totally overpriced) along with all sorts of other wonderful confections of Cold War Tooth Doom (like Weisse Mäuse). I’ve got to say, though… I always thought the chocolate was kind of waxy and icky, especially with that mix of milk chocolate and what was supposed to be white chocolate but was more milk and sugar than anything else, so maybe Kinderschokolade really WAS Soviet! I always preferred the Evil Western Imperialist Haribo cola bottles for my fake flavored sugar fixes. You can get those at Cost Plus now (actually, now that I think of it, you may be able to get KS there, too).

  3. geekusa

    October 17, 2008 at 11:08 am

    Not sure about Cost Plus… I do know that, for a while, you couldn’t buy Kindereggs in the US because the FDA was worried that terrorists might be hiding in them. Think they’ve lifted this ban, though.


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