Wow, this working-full-time thing really gets in the way of writing crappy posts about crappy Christmas specials. Also, see, this year, I’ve actually been out and about, spreading actual holiday cheer that has less to do with cynicism and more to do with singing songs, being drunk, and singing drunken songs about being drunk on Christmas.
Case in point…. THING #1: My cover of “Fairytale of New York”
Earlier this year, my friend Julia Lunetta (Second Shift, the Ignobel Prize) suggested that we get together and knock out a cover of the greatest Christmas song ever sung about dysfunctional alcoholic Irish-Americans, “Fairytale of New York.” Now, people are always trying to get me to do something with them, and I usually think it’s a pretty damn good idea and say we should get right on that, and then I go home and turn on Anthony Bourdain and forget all about it.
Somehow, though, I actually decided to go through with this particular project, so Julia and I recorded a cover of The Pogues’ classic. How did I manage to overcome my usual lack of follow-through with this particular project? Well, partially, it’s because I really love the song and think it’s funny and touching, and I liked the idea of singing with Julia, but mostly it’s because I realized it would make for a super-cheap “friends” gift. Irish blood, stingy Scottish heart, this I’m made of.
So we recorded it. Now, Julia’s a superfan of a podcast called Coverville, which is a very popular podcast entirely made up of cover songs. She decided to submit the song and -wouldn’t you know it – we were totally featured on their holiday episode! Ooh, and see, they’ve got this online poll where you can vote for your favorite song in each episode, and, wouldn’t ya know it, we’re in second place. Second. Behind Neil Diamond. This wil not stand. Please go listen to the podcast and give my song 10 stars, thank you.
Also, we will be performing this song at the Burren tuesday night during their open mic. If you live near Somerville, MA, you should probably come, cuz it’s gonna be killer.
I’ll be releasing the song here for download on Christmas Eve, for free, cuz it’s a cover and I don’t feel like paying Shane McGowan for it, cuz he’s just gonna blow the money on healthy living and tofu.
THING #2: The Advent Conspiracy
Doesn’t this sound like a crappy Dan Brown novel where Tom Hanks travels the world looking for hidden symbols in chocolate soldier one-a-day calendars? Well, it’s not.
You know how douchenozzles like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly have been getting their little frilly panties all in a bunch over their imaginary War On Christmas for several years now? (Sorry, didn’t mean to tip my hand there. Tis the Christmas season, after all, and I should be fairer to my fellow man. So, I’ll start again.)
You know how horrible charlatan liars like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly are ruining America by spreading hateful noise about (Okay, look, I really need to stop being so negative. It’s Christmas, and it’s time to forgive. So, let’s start again.)
You know how SOME PEOPLE are upset about this thing they’re calling the War on Christmas, which basically means that the lady at the Gap said “Happy Holidays” to them instead of “Merry Christmas”, and that’s an act of religious oppresion on the same level as Kristalnacht? Or, like, one school in Schenectady decided not to sing “Silent Night” this year at their pageant, which means that they’re coming to take your crucifix! And your guns! And your crucifix-shaped guns!
Well, the whole point of the Advent Conspiracy is to point out that flipping out at the clerk at Filene’s for saying “Seasons Greetings” after you spent $1,432.50 on shiny gilded adornements people don’t need completely misses the point of Christmas. Like you’re less concerned about celebrating the birth of Jesus or spirit of giving, and more concerned that everyone acknowleges YOUR tradition and YOUR gifts.
I might not be paricularly religious, but I love it when religious people actually have the courage of their convictions. The Advent Conspiracy basically says that we’ve lost the Christmas spirit, but that it has nothing to do with the town taking the manger off the town common, and everything to do with people over-spending, over-decorating, freaking out about everything being perfect, and neglecting to, you know, be nice to people. Good on them for it.