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Category Archives: worst years in music

30 Day Song Challenge: Day 2 – My Least Favorite Song

Day 2

Theme: Your Least Favorite Song

Artist: Aaron Neville and Linda Rondstadt

Song: “I Don’t Know Much (But I Know I Love You)”

“I don’t know much, but I know I love yooooou…”

After writing a dissertation about my favorite song, I was going to keep my comments on my least favorite song down to just one word.  And I really, really tried, but the only word that came to mind wasn’t a word at all – it was more of a low, guttural noise that sounds like I’m barfing up my own vocal chords.  Coincidentally, that’s the exact noise I make whenever I hear this treacle-stuffed ode to stupid people in love.
Also, Aaron Neville’s voice has always bothered me.
“I may sing like I have suffered a chronic head injury, but I know I love yoooou…”

Ugh.  This song is bloody awful.  “Look at these dreams/so beaten and so battered.”  Dreams aren’t physical objects.  If you’re referring to them as such, you’d better have a pretty solid metaphor to hang it on.  Shattered dreams works.  Beaten and battered just doesn’t.   Oh, and they just repeat the damn chorus over and over and over and over and ARGH!

“I may be a low-functioning adult, but I know I love yooou…”
I never liked this song.  Ever.  This song always made me want to punch things.  I’m sorry.

This song came out in 1989 – the absolute worst year for pop music in history, ever.   You people think it’s bad now?  1989 was infinitely worse.   You know what the #1 song of 1989 was?  “Look Away” by Chicago.   The top 40 songs of the year featured four – count ’em, FOUR – songs by Milli Vanilli.

However, the fact that a black guy and a white girl are singing a love duet to each other here says a lot about how far we’d come as a society, even then.  Just ten years before this song came out, you couldn’t have shown this performance in certain parts of the south.  It says a lot about us as a people that, today, the only thing that bothers us about this song is that it fucking sucks.

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Worst Years In Music: 1991 (part one)

I haven’t done one of these for a while, so I figured it was time.   In case you’re new around here, “Worst Years In Music” is a feature I write every now and then where I take (most of) the Top 100 songs of any given year (according to Musicoutfitters.com) and give ’em a good shellackin’.  I’ve already done 1988, 1990, 1996, 1997, and 1998 (doing things in order is for lame-os), so I figured what the hey, it’s 1991’s turn.

In 1991, blah blah seventh grade blah blah girls blah blah I was a nerd blah.

“Blah” is a good word for this year on the Top 100, actually.  Mind you, this is just before Nirvana and just after The Eighties, so no one knew what they were bloody doing.  Popular music in 1991 sort of showed up, fell to the floor, flopped around, and then sort of died.  For the most part.  And, for every ray of hope – REM, the KLF, Seal – there were a million Gerardos.

Part one: songs 100-60, below the cut.

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1988 Was The Worst Year In Music Ever

(Note from Andy in 2008: I wrote this three years ago. I haven’t tweaked it since, so it’s still got all sorts of fun errors and whatnot, and it’s definitely a product of 2005. Having said that, it’s still really funny. I’m posting it here because it was languishing on my Myspace site, ignored and unloved, and it told me that it wants to be where people can see it and access it easily. )

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Worst Years In Music: 1996

Worst Years In Music: 1996
1996. Ten years ago. Holy crap. That’s all I have to say.

Actually, that’s not all I have to say, because I’ve got a big list of songs I need to be all snarky about. But, damn. It may not have been the worst year in music ever, but it was certainly the oddest. The great unifying theme of the 1990s may very well turn out to be the explosion and subsequent mainstreaming of “alternative” forms of art, commerce, and communication – where the uncommon became common. If that turns out to be the case, then 1996 was probably the flashpoint of that whole… thing.

Anyway, here’s my take on the top 99 or so songs of that crazy, crazy time, when Vittorino was out of town and his two friends… were sooooo fine.

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99. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish

1996 was all about the Hootie. Friends was the number one show. Independence Day was the number one movie. And Darius “BK Bacon Cheddar Ranch” Rucker may be wearing a flannel shirt, but it’s okay, ‘cuz it’s buttoned up and tucked in. The video has them goofing around on a basketball court, for heaven’s sakes – how Richard Marx is that? You could almost hear the champagne corks popping at Boring HQ.

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Posted by on June 24, 2007 in music, nostalgia, worst years in music

 

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