My homeland, where the Nashoba valley meets the Merrimack valley in north central Massachusetts, rarely shows up in the annals of world affairs. ‘Tis a quiet grouping of hamlets, nestled betwixt the stern granite face of New Hampshire to the north, the Pioneer Valley to the west, and the bustling metropolis of Greater Boston to the east. We are an unassuming brood, who go about our lives in unassuming, yet occasionally transcendential, ways.
So it comes as a pleasant surprise to learn that a national satirical publication like The Onion has paid us a visit. If we’d-a known they were comin’, we would have baked them an apple pie. Or brewed some apple cider. Or perhaps some apple pan-dowdy. In my neck of the woods, we got apples growing out of our transcendential ears.
The article in question – concerning a rogue unit of Redcoats discovered still fighting the Revolutionary War after all these years, in Carlisle of all places – makes for good reading, and I recommend you pay it mind as you sit by your pot-bellied stove on these chilly March nights, catching up on your Olde Farmer’s Almanac and your back issues of Yankee.
A note of authenticity: the article makes mention of a Wal-Mart in Carlisle. Now, as we all know, we steely folk of the Merrimack and Nashoba Valleys did our darndest to keep that particular establishment out of our bucolic land a few years back, but The Onion paid this no mind. Please don’t let this ruin your experience, however, as the rest of the article is “wicked funny.”